Do you know what a real romantic mood killer is? Having sex then immediately leaving and claiming you’re late for something. Another show stopper is using really nasty pet names with your current partner that you came up with for your last partner. A classic is having sex then turning over to text all your friends THAT YOU JUST HAD SEX (while the person is still in bed with you).
Apparently the natural mood killers for getting it on aren’t good enough, because Planned Parenthood, those deviants of the Sexual Protection Realm, have come up with another way to wreck post coital swerve.
During National Condom Week (February 14th to the 21st, don’t tell me you forgot! Trojan Man didn’t shimmy down your chimney and leave you a gift?) Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest launched a program to promote safe sex, and handed out over 55,000 free condoms to colleges students as part of their Wheredidyouwearit safe sex campaign. What is the “Where Did You Wear it” campaign and what does that have to do with giving out free condoms? Planned Parenthood explains it best on their press release:
The condoms include a QR code — a barcode that can be scanned by smart phones and connects users to a mobile website. Similar to other geo-location services like Foursquare or Facebook Places, the site allows someone to anonymously “check-in” their safe sex activity. Where Did You Wear It targets college students and millennials, already comfortable with social media, to promote healthy sexuality and to be “proud to wear protection.”
That’s right everybody. Now, in addition to having random sex, you can post on-line where you had your random sexual behavior. And oh no, this isn’t tacky voyeurism masquerading as public health or anything, it’s all part of promoting responsible sexual behavior!
This is why Planned Parenthood has the reputation it has amongst the right wing, not to mention the fact that if Rush Limbaugh caught wind of this his head would probably explode.
Look, I’m down for PP trying to include a bit of Foursquare into your ForePlay but this has nothing to do with promoting sexually responsible behavior and everything to do with sexually titillating publicity. Like some 19 year old college kid is going to go online and look up the fact that someone just had sex in a Burger King Bathroom and now consider being more safe themselves? People chose to have safe sex (or sex at all) based on their level of maturity, the relationship with their partner and a whole host of other reasons that a click and a bar code have nothing to do with.
The real problem we have in America when it comes to proper sexual education and health behaviors is that neither side wants to be totally honest about what people are doing out there and why. Republicans want to pretend that no one is having sex, and that sex is fundamentally evil, and that it’s really all about making babies for Jesus. Some left wing groups like to pretend that abstinence is just IMPOSSIBLE or for weirdos, ignoring the fact that there are plenty of kids out there who aren’t getting any at all, and chose not to and that’s perfectly okay.
And in the process you get dopey public service attempts that are more likely to get someone to try out for the mile-high club than wrap it up for safety. Let’s just hope that part of PP’s educational program is teaching people about courtesy and post coital cuddling. Rolling over to scan and mark that you’re the king of the, say, University of Oregon undergraduate library doesn’t seem like a way to improve healthy and mutually respectful sexual relations.