Jason Johnson
+ Follow4 Simple Rules for Saving Uncle Herman
The Sharon Bailek press conference yesterday was something that anyone with common sense could’ve seen coming a mile away. It was simple, but believable: Herman Cain was wanted sexual favors out of her in exchange for a job in 1997. That tale has sunk a campaign that was pretty much floating on a sea of hubris to begin with. It’s only a matter of time now before Cain supporters start to slink away, his fundraising starts to dwindle and Republican primary voters start looking for another date to the Spring Prom.
“Hello Mitt,…..heeeeyyy long time no see. Got any plans for January?”
I have long argued that Herman Cain’s whole campaign was like the “Producers:” the pursuit of electoral failure setting him up for more money as a highly sought after public speaker and author. But, now he’s realizing that the politics game is hotter than a brick oven. Who wants to hear “Best Practices,” or “What’s in your Backpack?” motivational speeches from a guy who couldn’t protect his brand from the most predictable of scandals? Herman Cain is no student of campaign history or anything else for that matter but for the sake of his now dwindling window of relevance I offer him some basic advice about how to handle ‘non-sex’ sex scandals in the future.
1. You can’t get caught if you didn’t do it.
This is really simple: keeping your junk in your pants and not upgrading hotel rooms for women who aren’t your wife is a pretty good formula for being able to successful run for president.
Either don’t do the dirt, or find a way to bury it in the back yard so that no one will ever find out.
You haven’t heard anything about Mitt Romney sexually harassing anyone or having extra-marital affairs have you? And you know the GOP scoured every seedy bar and strip club in the South Side of Chicago, not to mention every student union from Wooster to Waikiki trying to find someone that Obama had slipped up with and they never found anyone.
I’m not saying that Mitt Romney or Barack Obama never did anything wrong outside of their marriages, I’m just saying if they did, they cleaned it up Chappaquiddick style.
2. Don’t Challenge the Press
A little history lesson, Herman: Gary Hart was a front-runner for the 1988 Democratic presidential nomination, but there were rumors swirling around his campaign that he was engaged in extra-marital activities. He famously dared the press in a New York Times interview “Follow me around. I don’t care. I’m serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They’ll be very bored.” A week later Miami Herald reporters busted him and his mistress Donna Rice and it wasn’t long before the infamous photo of them hanging out on his yacht (the appropriately named “Monkey Business” became part of presidential campaign history.)
The lesson for Herman Cain? When he and his staff came out guns blazing last week claiming that these allegations were totally false and that nothing ever happened with nobody no-how, he was just daring the press to find other accusers. Not to mention the fact that the surefire way to bring additional zombie skeletons out of the closet is to claim complete innocence. People who have long put your nasty behavior behind them will wake up to find Gloria Alred sitting at the foot of their bed with a contract and a twinkle in her eye. Speaking of which….
3. Don’t Piss Off Gloria Allred
Just as a general rule. Once she’s involved you’re pretty much done. If there is a scandal involving women and politicians she’s going to be all up in it - and this woman works the press like a circus barker on steroids. Yes, she’s an ambulance chaser dressed in progressive women’s clothing. Yes: her press conference one liners are something out of an 1980’s Arnold Schwarzenegger movie: (When asked to give her take on the sexual harassment incident that her client Sharon Bailek experience with Herman Cain she said:
“Instead of receiving the help that she had hoped for, Mr. Cain instead decided to provide her with his idea of a stimulus package”)
Riiimshot!
Like her or hate her, Gloria Allred hasn’t been wrong often when she represents someone in a sexual harassment suit. You’re better off paying her and the accuser and praying that no one else shows up, something that Tiger Woods never understood. Which takes us to the most important rule…..
4. Misquoting Mitt Romney: Stay AWAY from White Women, you’re running for office for Pete’s Sake! !
Interesting web fact: When you Google Sex Scandal you get a Wikipedia definition and link to scandals through time. When you Google Interracial Sex Scandal you get a lot of porn. Telling isn’t it?
I would advise the Herman Cain campaign to have a movie night where they rent Undercover Brother and learn what a Black Man’s Kryptonite truly is.
Detailed sexual harassment charges are bad enough, but when you combine that with the still surprisingly taboo notion of interracial sexual dalliances between Black Men and White Women, you’re all but guaranteeing the scandal to grow into something worse. Yes we all know about celebrities like Tiger Woods (who broke two rules by cheating with a White woman who then hired Gloria Allred!) but Jesse Jackson Jr. is facing his own problems because of his White woman on the side and Harold Ford Jr.’s senate run was sunk by the mere implication of him dealing with White women.
The Cain campaign should’ve had a real come to Jesus conversation with Herman right after the first allegations surfaced and prepared themselves better. The story had no legs until we actually got to see one of his accusers, and when the other shoe dropped it landed smack dab on his butt.
Had Herman Cain been following these four simple rules he might’ve saved his campaign some trouble but there’s still time if he acts fast. If he pulls a sincere mea culpa and gets back to focusing on his campaign he might have a chance to pull out of this as a relevant second banana until the inevitable crash and burn of the primaries. If not, if he continues down this path to political destruction, he’s not only going to lose any political relevance in the last 2 months of this race, but he’ll damage his long term earning potential as well as a speaker or FOX News pundit. It’s a shame though: after all that harassing and now the fall out you have to ask Mr. Cain if it was really worth it? I guess if he pulls out of this it was.
Dr. Jason Johnson, Politic365 Chief Political Correspondent, is a professor of Political Science at Hiram College in Ohio and author of the book Political Consultants and Campaigns: One Day to Sell. You can read more at www.drjasonjohnson.com or follow him on Twitter @Drjasonjohnson
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2 Responses to 4 Simple Rules for Saving Uncle Herman
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Charles Ellison says:
Appreciate that, fam. But: Dr. Jason Johnson is the author (slight glitch there). I'm sure he'd like to get your take on it.
cde
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This may be the most self loathing, idiotic piece of written detritus I have ever wasted time looking at. The Sambos and Quimbos are in a feeding frenzy! Still on the Democrat plantation puttin' a whippin' on any uppity Negro stupid enough to defy their massas! I have two words for Charles Ellison:
GRITS DUMMY!